It’s Friendship Day today. So, I addressed a question that lingered after I recently rewatched The Lunchbox.
Where do older women stand in the matter of friendships?
I know about the culture of kitty parties among the upper-middle-class that’s prevalent up north and community development initiatives such as Kudumbashree in some states.
Yet, if there’s a bond that develops naturally, it is between women in adjacent homes. The men go off to work and the wives spend their days cooking, cleaning, and doing other household chores. The smaller the houses, the better the equation.
In Ritesh Batra’s keenly observant film, Ila (Nimrat Kaur) shares a beautiful friendship with Deshpande Aunty (voiced by Bharati Achrekar). We never see ‘Aunty’ in the film, but is its most vivid character.
Ila and Aunty have a significant age difference.
To Ila, Deshpande Aunty’s devotion to her bedridden husband is a love story greater than Romeo and Juliet. Ila could feel that love – in the form of Aunty’s cooking, vintage Bollywood music, and the fact that she has never switched off a fan that her comatose husband stares at.
Ila has found a mini-life coach in her stern yet loving neighbor who is ready with her tips to spice up the marriage – with new recipes.
It is a very productive friendship where they share most details about each other’s lives – however, unexciting they might be. Of course, Ila does not share with her about the relationship-like connection she forges with a widower named Saajan (Irrfan Khan). But Aunty is always around to supplement her cravings.
“Aunty… Saajan film ka cassette hai kya? Sune kya?” asks Ila and her dear friend plays the stereo player within seconds.
Sometimes, all we need is someone like Aunty who silently stands by us – no questions asked.